Sunday, June 28, 2009

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Here’s hoping for more rain

As I write the sun is appearing through the clouds but they tell me that it’s about to change and we can expect some rain this week. Here’s hoping because the famous gutter, the Muddy Waterholes creek aint running yet.

 

Larry and Daryl wows the crowd

Marnoo’s most eccentric person Gary “Larry” Cameron and his sidekick Dwain “Daryl” Duxson put on a show for all whom attended the Damian Drum/Melissa Wall wedding over the weekend. Duxson was best man and instead of delivering a traditional old boring best man’s speech he delivered a poem. The poem, simply tilted “The Major” depicted Damian’s life from go to woe. Whilst Daryl read the poem Larry acted out each scene in what was probably his finest performance yet. I have managed to snare a transcript of the poem but I can’t put into word how funny Larry was, the only thing I can go by was the amount of laughter that came for the 150 strong crowd and there was plenty…..

 

Here’s the poem…… “The Major”

 

Out Banyena way it started

7 of 8 when he parted

A farmer was born

To Dorothy and John

For it was farm work he loved

And cropping it was

30 bags he did dream

Whilst driving his machine

 

With great football genes

A lot was expected

And with bleached blond hair

He showed some Drum flair

But only 90 games in

Something went “ping”

For he had suffered the curse

The dreaded Drum string

 

His tennis was good

In attack or defence

But he had a small problem

A case of racket against fence

 

At cricket her tried

But it wasn’t his call

For it helps just a little

If you actually see the ball

 

Where’s that, where that,

At golf he did bleat

When the little round ball

Was still at his feet

 

But one little thing

That came to the fore

Was his distinct inability

To keep the right score

 

But back to the plains

Where it had forgotten to rain

And put the mighty Drum farm

Under great strain

 

But right on Cue

Came along something new

Chasing headers for Phil

Soon became a summer time thrill

 

 

For he was off to Queensland Harvesting

And we don’t know where he are.

 

 

But then one day

That all changed in the most ridiculous way

For commission was calling

When grain prices were falling

 

An agent’s life is tough

But not for the Major

Who mixes cunning with bluff

 

And it wasn’t to long

Before he sang his own song

and with one little click

Out the door went great Dick

 

 

Then along came Melissa

Of good stock she was born

 

And the slow introduction, hey

That was Damian’s way

But now with girl by his side

His ample chest filled with pride

 

Then along came the ring

And ringa ding ding

The Major was King

For he announced on that day

“At least I’m not gay”

 

The bucks show did follow

Swan Hill was the venue

For he had no say

In what happened that day

 

So down went the beer

And down went the rum

For we all went to witness

The great race

“The Damian Dum”

 

So we’re now here today

So jump up from your seat

As we all celebrate this wonderful feat

But with only one question

One final question

To make it allllll complete

Will we hear the pitter patter of tiny little feet

 

Until next week

 

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