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Here’s hoping for more rain

As I write the sun is appearing through the clouds but they tell me that it’s about to change and we can expect some rain this week. Here’s hoping because the famous gutter, the Muddy Waterholes creek aint running yet.

 

Larry and Daryl wows the crowd

Marnoo’s most eccentric person Gary “Larry” Cameron and his sidekick Dwain “Daryl” Duxson put on a show for all whom attended the Damian Drum/Melissa Wall wedding over the weekend. Duxson was best man and instead of delivering a traditional old boring best man’s speech he delivered a poem. The poem, simply tilted “The Major” depicted Damian’s life from go to woe. Whilst Daryl read the poem Larry acted out each scene in what was probably his finest performance yet. I have managed to snare a transcript of the poem but I can’t put into word how funny Larry was, the only thing I can go by was the amount of laughter that came for the 150 strong crowd and there was plenty…..

 

Here’s the poem…… “The Major”

 

Out Banyena way it started

7 of 8 when he parted

A farmer was born

To Dorothy and John

For it was farm work he loved

And cropping it was

30 bags he did dream

Whilst driving his machine

 

With great football genes

A lot was expected

And with bleached blond hair

He showed some Drum flair

But only 90 games in

Something went “ping”

For he had suffered the curse

The dreaded Drum string

 

His tennis was good

In attack or defence

But he had a small problem

A case of racket against fence

 

At cricket her tried

But it wasn’t his call

For it helps just a little

If you actually see the ball

 

Where’s that, where that,

At golf he did bleat

When the little round ball

Was still at his feet

 

But one little thing

That came to the fore

Was his distinct inability

To keep the right score

 

But back to the plains

Where it had forgotten to rain

And put the mighty Drum farm

Under great strain

 

But right on Cue

Came along something new

Chasing headers for Phil

Soon became a summer time thrill

 

 

For he was off to Queensland Harvesting

And we don’t know where he are.

 

 

But then one day

That all changed in the most ridiculous way

For commission was calling

When grain prices were falling

 

An agent’s life is tough

But not for the Major

Who mixes cunning with bluff

 

And it wasn’t to long

Before he sang his own song

and with one little click

Out the door went great Dick

 

 

Then along came Melissa

Of good stock she was born

 

And the slow introduction, hey

That was Damian’s way

But now with girl by his side

His ample chest filled with pride

 

Then along came the ring

And ringa ding ding

The Major was King

For he announced on that day

“At least I’m not gay”

 

The bucks show did follow

Swan Hill was the venue

For he had no say

In what happened that day

 

So down went the beer

And down went the rum

For we all went to witness

The great race

“The Damian Dum”

 

So we’re now here today

So jump up from your seat

As we all celebrate this wonderful feat

But with only one question

One final question

To make it allllll complete

Will we hear the pitter patter of tiny little feet

 

Until next week

 

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Another week

Welcome to another week of the SLF. Last week was a very quiet week in the Marnoo district, so there is not much to report. All we can do is our best…

 

Upstart honing in on a date for the big day..

Rumour has it that former native Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet and his lovely-wife-to-be Julia are eyeing off March 20 as the wedding day.

 

Larry makes prediction

It’s written in blue ink and signed by man-about-town and MCC Captain Gary “Larry “ Cameron and it sits pinned to the notice board of the Marnoo Pub. It’s a bold but well thought out prediction that the MCC will win this years premiership. Now don’t take short cuts Larry by talking about a finals birth or take it one week at a time just cut to the chase and talk premierships and premierships only. Good to here some positivity. Watch this space for the build up.

 

Muzza not online

Part time Vic Hotel resident Murray “Muzza” McGregor was ruing his bad luck when he went to get his trusty Jeep serviced the other day. You see he dropped the Jeep off  at the Ballarat dealership and unloaded his bags to jump on the train to his Melbourne residence. Next a grease monkey took off only to run over Muzza’s computer that he had in his bag. “Not a great start to the day” he said.

 

Hibernating for the winter or maybe longer

Things have gone a little quite as a few former newsmakers move into the next stage of their life. Rostron funny man Rueben “Rostron” Cheesman, Nigel “Winebar” Slee, Ben “Glendemar” Duxson and to a lesser extent Armand “Herbie” Duxson don’t dominate the headlines like they used too. I mean there wasn’t a week go by when one or if not all of the above mentioned group would feature. Like will we ever see big Herbie riding his pushbike around town in peak hour on a Sunday in only his birthday suit again…..I guess not. So where are the next generation of news makers or is this column going to turn into something predictable and boring….C’mon give us something!!!

 

Tree’s exposed at Lake Mulwala

This joint up here is renown for its water sports and let me tall you their aint any shortage of patrons up this way in the Summer time. But I’m sure if those same people came back and saw the lake at the moment they wouldn’t be tearing around at 100mph. You just don’t realise the amount of stumps and logs not to far under the peak waterline until the lake actually drops.

 

Boring, boring, boring

See, the above story is boring, we need more action…Do something.

 

 

The Fruity and Mayor show

I’m told that Derek “The Mayor” and John “Fruity” Nisbet returned back to the Mayor’s place is pretty good touch after Legacy day. So much so that the lovely Donna decided to video the pair upon their arrival home. Apparently after viewing the tape the next morning they decided not to protest!!!

 

That’s all for this week

 

Welcome again

Another week just passes by as we enter the depths of winter with a cold blast last week. I managed to make it to the village last weekend and it was great to see a lot of smiling faces.

 

Legacy day another big event

It was great to notch another legacy day in the belt. Although the weather wasn’t favourable, but once again a large crowd assembled and I’m sure that $2000+ would have been raised.

 

The case of the missing chickens

Again this year a few chickens left the hands of the spinning wheel winners, it seems like a tradition is developing here. So if you manage to win one make sure you guard it with your life. Or better still hang around until they are cooked.

 

Mayor injured

You wouldn’t think you would get an injury just working behind the bar at the “Whitehouse” but that’s what happened to Derek “The Mayor” Cameron on Saturday night. In what was a bit of a silly act by my fellow Yarrawonga resident Dwain “Daryl” Duxson, he flick passed a bottle of vino tinto in the Mayor’s direction. The Mayor, who has taken many a blinder in his day got most of it but the cap just clipped his cheek and drew blood. “Daryl” soon realised his mistake and quickly apologised to the not-to-worried Mayor.

 

New spinning wheel lady

Gary “Larry” Cameron took over the spinning wheel role from the great Norm “Guru” Duxson. Larry certainly likes the stage and performs accordingly but next year I think a bit of a pink tutu might be the go.

 

No putter

John “Noisy” Nisbet and his lovely wife “Joybells” were in town on the weekend for the Legacy event. Noisy remarked that he left his putter at home but told us all not to worry as he was going to chip them all in. Well what a statement that was, he never even looked like it.

 

Dog trials the next step

I’m told that innovative Wallaloo East farmer Mark “Pissdown Park” Reading had a little trouble getting the ewes and lambs in the other day. So much so that it was reported that the performance was so good that a spot awaits him in next years dog trials. The entertainment value would be sensational.

 

Ladies turn out

It was a big weekend for the “Whitehouse” as the ladies event on Friday night turned out to be a huge success. My bartending spies were very tight lipped as to who won the belt.

 

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What a difference a week makes

I can only imagine the size of the smiles on all farmers’ faces as the rain gods deliver and put the season of 2009 back on track. Not sure about specifics but most district farmers would have to be around the 2-inch mark for the last fortnight. And more to come this Saturday…

 

Could be a wet legacy day

If the forecasters are right we are in for a dollop on legacy day. So bring all your wet weather gear and a wallet full of cash and support this very worthy cause.

 

Stepping out night for the girls

 The ladies of the district will step out this Friday night at the Royal’s “Whitehouse”. 7pm start with supper provided. Andrea Cross is the guest speaker in what should be an entertaining “menless” night. No giggling!!!

 

Larry takes votes

Local Landmark agent and lamb guru Damian “The Major” Drum had his bucks day/night at the Swan Hill races. Although the races were called off several patrons still made the effort to attend the Phantom meeting. About a dozen units turned out for the Major’s buck’s event hoping to witness the Damian Dum Handicap (no not a typo). However that didn’t eventuate but there wasn’t any lack of entertainment especially when SLF favourite Gary “Larry” Cameron is about. Larry was awarded all the 3, 2 and 1 votes for his efforts.

 

The know all knows nothing

Former Callawadda Primary School Dux Sandy “The Know all” McGregor does things in threes, at least last weekend he did. He flew to Brisbane without his phone after his neighbour found it in his garden, he then returned from Brisbane to find that his new Mercedes had a flat battery in the car park. So he then hired a car to attend the Majors Bucks show and when he went to return the next morning the hire car had a flat battery as well. His week could only get better from there….

 

That’s all for this week, see you at Legacy day