The Square Leg files by Square Leg

 

Hello and welcome again

It’s been a relatively slow news week as signs of Autumn kick into gear.  I personally think Autumn is the best time of the year as far as weather is concerned, crisp coolish mornings and warm still days. Ahhh reminds me of back when I used to reside in the Kanya Hills just down from Mt Bolangum.

 

Field Days this week

Many of our the districts leading farmers head over to the Wimmera Machinery Field Days which are on this week and if you are looking for entertainment go to site U32-41. That’s where local importing business Wahroonga Enterprises will be manned by the comedy trio Stewart “Smacka” MacPherson, owner Nigel “Winebar” Slee and Reuben “Rostron” Cheesman. What a combination or as Andy Healy would say “what a f*&^%$# joke, shiiidt”

 

In and out

These days the Wimmera Machinery Field Days isn’t the event it used to be, long gone are the days when several native farmers used to do the three days which included a nightly crawl back though the Dooen, Murtoa and Rupanyup pubs, then onto Warranooke for a few “Warranooke Stubbies”, then after that it was back to the corner shop at Marnoo. Many, many legendary stories came for that annual pilgrimage.

 

Nisbet disputes claim

Talking to John “Fruity” Nisbet during the week and he disputes winning the belt at his son’s wedding. He said “I only fell over on the dance floor once”. Enough said I say…………..

 

Farmer falls off

Usually it’s a bar stool but this time it was a little bit more serious. Leading farmer and former Trotting celebrity Brian “Farmer” Healy had a serious fall whilst training one of his latest “hopeful”. The horse tripped, the sulky flew and Farmsy went over the handlebars and landed on the hard summer soil (lucky he is a no tiller and the soil was a little softer). But he is OK after a little ride in the “meat wagon” and a little stay in the “house on the hill”. Anyway he has to come good soon as he will be cropping in a couple of weeks…………

 

Ausfarm Online down be we’ll be back

Dwain “Daryl” Duxson informs me that he has shut the Ausfarm Online website down as half the business has been sold and it will return in two months time under a new name called The Farm Trader.

 

Back on the beer

My one month separation from the grog is over. We are back on together as of this week. I must admit though I was getting used to not having a beer but I am happy to be back socialising with the lads as it’s great fun.

 

Talk soon

 

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Hello Again

Welcome to another edition of the SLF. I caught up with a few natives at the Nisbet wedding and we stumbled across a few stories for this weeks files.

 

Mayor out and about

It’s usually the women that get all dolled up when attending someone’s wedding but one local male namely, Derek “The Mayor” Cameron was seen in a Bendigo shop getting a “pedicure”. His lovely wife Donna dobbed him in and said she was glad that she wasn’t the one attacking “those feet”.

 

Beer tasting good

Wedding guests enjoyed the festivities of Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet and his now lovely wife Julia. There was certainly plenty of grog flowing thanks to the father of the groom John “Noisy” Nisbet. It made the beer taste so much better knowing that Big John was financing it and it gave us an opportunity to get a couple back which were thoroughly enjoyed.

 

Late night or early morning

It’s well know that Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet is a bit of a stopout when it come to the partying side of things. Well he didn’t disappoint as reports were saying that he was out until 5am with a few of his mates celebrating his last day of freedom. But he is now a seasoned campaigner and scrubbed up pretty good for his 3:30 appointment.

 

Lost Address

Andrew “Clown” Newall was wondering if Upstart knew that he had changed address, no invite turned up……..

 

Natives put on a show

All the natives and some former natives who attended the wedding put on a very good show and didn’t disappoint the punters. One former native and the father of the groom John “Noisy” Nisbet got my vote for the belt. He was spotted getting escorted out of the event by his lovely and understanding wife “Joybells”. Also half a dozen former and current natives (that included prominent local surnames in Newall, Duxson & Healy) were spotted out at a sleazy Bendigo nightclub at 4am.

 

Mums cooking no longer

 Speaking of Duxsons, I was having discussions with someone about how fit Armand “Herbie” Duxson looked and we put it down to having to fend for himself as far as preparing meals is concerned now that his mother Margie has moved into town. I remember Margie saying that she had to hide a lot of food from the male section of the family. “they are like bloody vultures those two”. I tricked them most time with the Tim Tams, I used to put them in with the carrots and other veges, they never bloody found em in there” She said.

That’s all

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Hello Again

Welcome to another edition of the SLF. I made it back to the district for a couple of days last week and it was great to see some of the district characters in fine form. I attended the Thursday night, MCC after training BBQ at “Blue Cans” corner store and it was great to see so many natives attend.  I managed to get my hot little hands on some of the current district news, so here we go……

 

Highlight number one

It could be said that the MCC isn’t having one its best season on the field but it was pleasing to see them notch up a well earned victory against the ladder leaders Brim/Kellalac/Sheep Hills. There were two highlights for the day, the first being another century from legend Derek  “The Mayor” Cameron, he blasted 106 in a match winning performance. There have been numerous times over the last 20+ years where Cameron has blasted a middle order ton to take the game out of the opposition hands. At his peak he was the arguably the most feared batsmen around with his destructive hitting combined with his appetite for 100+ scores. Well done again Mayor….

 

Highlight number two

The second highlight for the day was “The Mayor’s” combined partnership with his son Brylie, who at the tender age of 12, figured in a 90 run partnership with his Dad and contributed 19 runs. Now I don’t want to put the mozz on the kid but predictions are that this young fella has what it takes to go a fair way with his cricket. He has the skills and all the shots but will need to combine that with dogged determination and an appetite for scoring truck loads of runs if he is to make it to any sort of level in this country.  I for one will be watching his progression with great interest……

 

Muzza goes up a grade

Likeable Callawadda farmer Murray “Muzza” McGregor has ditched the cigarettes.  But an inhaling habit continues as he has graduated to cigars. He said he is also saving money with his new smoking technique, “I smoke a third and let it go out, then another third later on and then the final third……Makes sense to me!!!

 

Jack Cameron BBC

I had some favourable feedback from last weeks story about Trevor “Brigadier General” Hargreaves and his title of PHD (Post Hole Digger). I was talking to SLF Hall of Fame member John “Jack” Cameron and he said he wants to have on his grave Jack Cameron BBC. Why BBC I asked, “Bathurst Burr Cutter, I’ve done a bit of it in my day” he said.

 

Wedding of the year

This coming weekend see’s the exchanging of vows for Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet and his lovely wife to be Jules. The wedding will take place in Bendigo and yours truly we be on board to cover the event for the SLF and New Idea. One thing I am looking forward to is drinking some of the beer financed by John “Fruity” Nisbet. I’ll tell you why in the next story…

 

Why?

Back when Fruity was in his fast bowling days we would train hard and then journey on down to the corner shop for some well-earned lubricant. Fruity would always call into the shop and grab $10 out of the cash register and at the same time telling the lovely “Joybells” he was going down to the pub and say “I’ll only be half an hour”. Well on many occasions we blew that out of the water by staying until midnight and sometimes beyond. Back in those days your $10 went a little bit further than it does today but it defiantly doesn’t last long in a shout with a group of thirsty cricketers. So I am looking to get a couple of beers back having financed the big fella on a couple of occasions. I will wire a report through next week.

 

Bottles galore

I was talking to a couple of natives in the corner shop last week and we were on about how drinkers used to drink 7oz glasses and how we have graduated up to pots over the years. But we have gone the opposite way with the take away grog having gone from Bottle back to Stubbies. For ever and a day the choice was bottles well ahead of Stubbies but now you are struggling to find someone that drinks bottles.  The late Ken “Fawlty” Newall used to refer to the bottles as “Warranooke stubbies”, apparently out that way they drank them as through they were stubbies……

 

Week two

It’s week two of the Feb Fast and I am feeling pretty good, It did however feel strange going into the corner shop last Thursday night and drinking coke. I recon I have been into that joint 1000 times over the years and never once have I not had a beer. Chris “Tangled” Webb let me know in no uncertain terms by pointing and saying “if you’re drinking coke then the milk bar is down the road”.

 

Of the chain

When I fist made the challenge of giving up the grog for February I made sure I checked the diary and allowed myself a couple of exemption days. Those days are Friday and Saturday of this week which co-insides with “Upstarts” wedding.  The Friday is to prepare as I subscribe to the theory that you’re always better for the first run. But after that I jump back on the wagon again.

 

Breaking News

I think Smacka has a girlfriend……

 

Long one this week….Adios 

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Hello Again

Things have been a little bit quiet in the last week or so but as usual we will see how we go……..

 

Driver training needed

I couldn’t stop laughing the other day when I read the Herald Sun as they were going through some of the monumental memories of the Moonee Valley Trots.  One reported was telling us one of his greatest memories was when Maori’s Idol was going for something like 24 or 26 straight wins one night. He said “I couldn’t believe how far back pilot Brain Healy had the champ and I then witnesses the biggest run of all time. But Moari’s Idol could only finish 3^rd, it was a case of extreme driver error by Brian Healy”. Well Farmer if that’s not a bake and a half then I’ll go he….

 

For the record

It’s a stat that some of you older district folk will have etched into your memory and it’s a stat that some of us have forgotten and maybe to the younger generation may never have realised. But we must remember that Marnoo’s own Maori’s Idol was arguably the Pharlap of trotting and had 40 wins form 47 starts. Amazing.

 

1 week in

This “off the piss for February” gig has been both positive and negative. On the positive, I think I feel a little better, come to think of it I’m not sure if I do……..On the other hand the negatives are plentiful. I went to the cricket club on Saturday night and boy did I cop it. One bloke said “when you have finished with your little cause can we then have the real Square Leg back”. Another one was, I walked into Pistols Tavern (local watering hole) and the bloke behind the bar already had one set up for me that I had to refuse, he said “ya what” as I handed it back. I think for the rest of the month (except for Upstarts wedding) I will remove myself from the public domain in order to get through. However I am determined to see it out…..

 

Upstart number 2

Boy how time flies and how quickly the district kids grow up. I was scouring though my facebook profile the other day when this lady was saying “how much I miss my boyfriend Darcy”. I don’t know who the young lady was but I’m pretty sure that Darcy “Upstart No 2” Cameron knows. It doesn’t seem like that long ago when we attended his mum and dads wedding let alone when he was born, now his is fully involved with some chick. I’m sure the Mayor would be saying “go for it son”.

 

H knows what going on

Leading Yarrawonga and district farmer and local cricketing legend Marcus “H” Hargreaves keeps up with all the Marnoo news through the SLF online blog. He said that he’s only met a handful of “District Characters” but feels as though he knows exactly what’s going on from week to week.

 

Dr Hargreaves

H’s old man Trevor “Brigadier General” Hargreaves is one of the district characters, sort of in the mould of our very own John “Jack” Cameron. He gave me his business card the other day and it read “Trevor Hargreaves PHD”. I said what’s this PHD title? “Post Hole Digger” he replied.

 

Until next week