Hello again
Welcome to another edition of the SLF. What a big weekend it was with the party of the decade which I attended. Andrew "Clown" Newall was host of what was a cracker of an event. Please read on

Marnoo boys in form
Natives and ex natives provided all the entertainment at the 30th birthday bash as "Clowns" other no tiller friend could only look on shaking their heads in disbelief at some of the antics.

Farmer's sore wrist
Brian "Farmer" Healy was in very good touch and slapping plenty of backs, so much so that he now has a swollen wrist. I'm guessing has slapped one back to many

Belt goes too.....
I know you are all waiting to hear who won the belt, well this time I'm going to award it to a lady . Now it's not very often that a lady wins this award but when it happens you know they have gone out in style. Well the winner was Julia Nisbet. At one stage there she fell backwards and knocked over all the band equipment, to the bands credit he kept on playing.....the last time someone fell backwards into a band was back in 2005 when Nigel "Winebar" Slee did something similar

Smacka straps one on
Stewart "Smacka" MacPherson was back to his brilliant best as he donned the track suit and footy boots and belted out plenty of dance numbers that entertained the masses. Smacka has been absent from this column for some time now but it was great to see him back to his entertaining best

We know who wears the pants
Reuben "Rostron" Cheesman was in top form as you would expect but his "moment" happened before the event. You see he bought the dinner suit along but somehow bought the wrong pants along and they tuned out to be his wifes, the delightful Katrina better known as "Wifey". Not to be beaten Rueben tried the pants on and they actually fitted. He was heard throughout the night telling all that for once he got to wear the pants. It was short live though as the next day wifey told Rueben " right Rueben it's time to go we need to pick up the kids" without hesitation He jumped straight in the car. The pant were back on....

Nudie run
I missed it myself but there was a nudie run and it was played out by a former native who now resides in Melbourne. This person is a seasoned campaigner at this and I will leave you to work out who the offender was......Shouldn't be to (how) hard.

Masterclass
Gary "Larry" Cameron was also in good touch but saved the best for the Sunday. I'm told he entertained the small crowd with his very own Masterclass. His masterclass consisted of the boning out of a leg of lamb and I'm told he was absolutely hilarious.

Leftovers
Ben "Glendemar" Duxson and Derek "The Mayor" Cameron were absent and it was probably there fault that all the beer wasn't drunk. Clown said that there were five slabs left and if The Mayor and Benny had of attended it would have been consumed. Clown estimated that Ben might have drank 2 and The Mayor the other 3!!!!!

The seen was set...
We were a little dissapointed in Peter "Pete" Newall, the seen was set for him to strap on big one as the beer was free and he had the lovely Diane to drive. But he gave us nothing, sure wouldn't of happened in the olden days.

New PM
SLF Hall of Fame member John "Jack" Cameron is not a happy camper. You see he is not a Julia Gillard fan, her voice just irritates the he'll out of him. I haven't seen him this angry since the Paul Keating days.....

That's all

Welcome to another week

Welcome to another edition of the Square Leg Files. It was a very big weekend locally with Legacy day down at the “Royal” and what a day it was. Let’s get on with it.

92 players and the winner is…….

92 golfers and varying ability, shapes and sizes graced the “Royals” spectacular fairways in the traditional “Legacy Day” (sometimes known as Legless Day). Correct me if I’m wrong but it would have to be the biggest crowd for sometime and I’m sure the WGC will hand over a sizable cheque to the Legacy organisation. The winner for the day was a team that consisted of the Lang boys David and Stuart, Christopher “Tangled” Webb and SLF Hall of Famer Norm “Guru” Duxson. Well done to them.

Visitor aplenty

Teams from the opposite end of the state converged on the Royal, there were teams from as far South as Warrnambool and as far North as Yarrawonga and all point inbetween. Probably the most misbehaved were a couple of the teams from Warrnambool and the Yarrawonga guys weren’t far behind.

Work it out Robbo

I bought our first ever Yarrawonga team for legacy day and these guys had a ball. All three are competent greens players but the scraps created somewhat of a challenge. Former professional Brad “Bear” Forrester adapted very quickly and Glen “Wally” Brear had some experience at the previous Corporate Cup but Rob “Knob” Browning is a very slow learner. It took him 15 holes to put the sand and pitching wedge away and use the chip and run approach……..

The trip home

I made the wise decision to drive the Yarrawonga boys home on Sunday. It all started with a Masterchef like breakfast that Ben “Glendemar” Duxson cooked and then it was on the road about 8:30. A couple of our learned crew decided that 8:30 was the time to take the new ball (have a beer) and I knew from that point on that it was going to be a funny trip. About 15 pubs later we arrive back at Pistols Tavern in Yarrawonga with a couple of blokes a bit worse for wear.

Who won the belt…

Everyone was in pretty good touch and I’m not going to hand out the belt this year as I would consider myself in no state to make a judgement on someone else……

Bent again

Former Callawadda native Sandy “The Know All” McGregor has hit the jackpot again with his sensational stayer/jumper Black and Bent. Black and Bent is a half brother to his other million dollar jumper Some are Bent with the former saluting the judge once again to make it 6 wins on end. Apparently the horse was some 25 lengths in front at the closing stages with the jockey virtually pulling the horse up about 50 meters from the line, he then turned around waving his hands at the other jockey’s as if to say “come on boys, where have you been”. The official margin was 15 lengths.

Larry wows em in Adelaide

News out of Adelaide is that our very own Gary “Larry” Cameron entertained the masses at his old footy club Marion’s 10 year premiership reunion. I’m told Larry turned up to the breakfast in the full chefs kit and cooked the boys his famous signature dish “bacon and eggs”. I’m then told that the lads headed to the SANFL game Glenelg v’s Sturt that afternoon and the word from the street is that the Marion boys lead by our very own Larry (in full chef kit) were seen doing a lap of honour (to spirited applause from the crowd) with the old premiership cup at half time in the main game. I’m not sure what security did!!!!!!

Lost keys

As you do when you are at a footy reunion, you make sure you put your car keys in a safe place so that you can find them the next day. Well tell this one to Larry as he thought he did. He left his trusty machine and gave the keys to a friend midway through the day and thought nothing of it until the next day when he went to pick up his car. After some time he remembered who he gave them to but couldn’t contact them so he decided to get some keys cut, $250 later the bloke who had the keys rang to give the keys back. Oh well all is not lost he now has two sets

That’s enough

Hello Hello

And welcome to another edition of the SLF. It’s been a big week for yours truly and I’m really interested to know how your week was?

How do you bottle that?????

I went to the now famous re-enactment of the “shearing of the rams” in my role as chief journalist for the Square Leg Files and it was probably the most amazing thing I have seen in my life. They estimate there was 20,000 people there, with at one stage the car line being estimated at 6km long and over an hours wait in line. I left my “press pass” at home so I didn’t get to see much as the lines were just to long. I have been wracking my brain as to why this event was so successful considering that the organisers were catering for 5000 people max. I guess people are interested in our history and that the event wasn’t really commercialised (or that’s the way they portrayed it). And if they did it again would they attract as many people? Anyway I was slightly disappointed that we didn’t get to see much and it was nobody’s fault, but I’m still trying to work out the reason why so many people turned up………

Long way for no result

On my way out of the event I saw Ben “Glendemar” Duxson and his lovely wife Cheryl and the kids in the car line, so I pulled up and told them that it probably wasn’t worth going in with the 2 little kids. So they turned around and we went and had a couple of beers at a pub in Tocumwal. They travelled the 4 hours there and didn’t get to see a thing, but hey they had a day out and sometimes it’s just good to go for a long drive. I didn’t see any other natives there even though I heard a few were going.

Finding gold

Ben “Glendemar” Duxson was telling me that he left his golf sticks in his brothers car and he took off back to Yarra so he had to borrow Armand “Herbie” Duxson’s sticks for the annual GAS shield which was held at Bruce “Boofhead” Hendy’s favourite gold course “Glenorchy” (Ally McBeal). When he was going through Herbies bag looking for a golf tee he came across the Linden Pastoral Company cheque book. Ben mentioned that is was a David and Goliath situation comparing the that cheque book to his wallet.

Reputation in tact

I can imagine “Boofhead” laughing as I write that I have it on very good authority that the Glenorchy Golf course is still living up to it’s nickname “Ally McBeal”. I will let you work it out yourself as to why it was named that or better still ask a golfer. The last time I wrote about this Golf course a few Glenorchy natives got a little bit upset, let’s hope this time they see the funny side!!!!

Thirsty work

I was cruising through Facebook the other day and I notice a trend was occurring right before my very eyes. Former native and now Ballarat resident Rachael “Pots” McAllister gets very thirsty around mid afternoon on a Friday. She writes posts like “can’t wait to get my lips around a juicy pot of Carlton Draught” or “Ohh beer I love you, you Friday and me in a threesome is the most delicious thing I have ever experienced”. She even mentions her Marnoo roots last Friday by saying, “I am having withdrawal symptoms, I need beer, the Marnooian in me wants to get out and get amongst it”. I for one will be interested in this Friday’s post………

Masterchef comes to Marnoo

About 30 odd natives turned out for the Thursday night titled “Masterchef comes to Marnoo” last week at the “Royal”. This is the second time it has been held and it’s proving to be a raging success. It all starts late Thursday avro with a quick 3 holes of golf, then a team of “Masterchef wannabees” provide a signature dish for the evenings meal. People can also enjoy a quite beer, wine or cup of tea, it’s also great for the kids as they can run around in safe confines of the “White House”. So my advice would be to get along this Thursday (I hope it’s on) evening and see what all the commotion is about.

That’ll do