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Welcome again
Another week passes us by and I even heard someone talk about planning for Christmas, surely not yet but I guess it’s not that far away.
Out and about
I was out and about in Melbourne on grand final eve and the whole joint was buzzing. I managed to catch up with a few current and former natives and the highlight of the trip came from a particular Landmark agent who well and truly over catered.
Over and out
Local comedian Stewart “Smacka” MacPherson has officially given notice to the press that he will not be taking part in this round of Farmer Wants a Wife. It’s disappointing for all of us who were looking forward to seeing his famous dial become even more famous. I’m told not all is lost though, he has front running for the next round of episodes and lately I have seen him with two separate women!!!
Bring back memories
The back of the Herald Sun on Tuesday featured miserly Geelong defender Matthew Scarlett with his new Kevin Bartlett haircut. Boy does that bring back great memories for this middle aged Tiger, the great man would have to be arguably the Tigers greatest even.
Big big day
The much awaited Corporate Cup is this Saturday and boy am I looking forward to this event. I have a crew of desperates from Yarrawonga making the trip and if it goes anything like last year it will be huge. Last year the trip home was adventurous as we stopped at no less than 9 pubs with Logan taking the cake as the most intriguing according to my Yarrawonga mates.
A young member
Member for Marnoo Gary “Councillor Larry” Cameron is turning 40 this weekend, I’m told there is a bit of an informal do on Saturday night that has the potential to spill well into Sunday. Watch this space.
End of message
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Welcome again
Another week is upon us and what an interesting week it has been. I managed to get back “home” last weekend and caught up with some of the districts characters and more importantly some of the stories. Here we go.
Party pooper
I have to say that my heart hadn’t beat like that since Brett Lee and Kaspa nearly made those runs in England 3 years ago. I’m talking about the Brownlow when my old mate Richo nearly stole the show. With all due respects to the winner I recon the joint would have erupted if Richo snatched the 3 votes on the last game of the year (and for the record I thought he was in the votes, but I’m bias). It’s funny, he has gone from the most maligned players to one of the most popular and boy those umpies didn’t know the script had been written, all they had to do was finish it.
No till in the till
Eddie everywhere Rueben “Rostron” Cheesman was at another No till junket with his partners in crime, Brain “Farmer” Healy and Stewart “Farmer want a wife” MacPherson. Cheesman has coined the phrase “no till in the till”, it must be in the genes as old man Arthur is good for a statement or two.
Winebar on fire
Marnoo West celebrity Nigel “Winebar” Slee had an “it can only happen to me” moment in the Grampians a couple of weekends ago. You see the responsible drinker thought he would take himself off to bed and thought in order to stay warm he would sleep close to the fire. Well he was amazed to wake and see his swag alight and had to move faster that a Richo lead to avoid being burnt. The official report says he sustained “burns to .3% of his body” or part of his little toe!
The latest
Apparently some enterprising native has sent Smacka’s application form in for “farmer wants a wife” and guess what the authorities have been in touch. Could it be that we are all glued to our 50 months interest free widescreen early next year watching one of our very own? Could this be how it goes when the two girls arrive at Glenorchy. “Hello girls welcome to Glenorchy, thirsty are we girls, well I just thought for the first night we might go to Blue Can’s”. Anyway if it all comes off we will have some fun because I know one thing’s for sure “Smacka” will play his part like no other.
Yes it went in the “Corepark” Tony
First time golfer and Traynors Lagoon celebrity John “Landmark” Mathews had the gallery ducking for cover last Sunday when his first drive hit the barrier and ended up back in the Royal car park (or as Tony Grieg says “Corepark”). I’m told though that he redeemed himself quickly and is now considering a career once the boys have finished junior footy.
Rudd a dud according to most
This little column doesn’t get very political but I thought I would chuck this one in. I get around a bit and being an investigative journalist I keep my ear to the ground, I am hearing more and more that the average punter thinks our Prime Minister is all talk and no action. Could he be the worst PM since John “Jack” Cameron’s mate Paul “Clocks” Keating took office? I’ll leave that one for you to decide – at the next election.
Check out this site
My Yarra mate Dwain “Daryl” Duxson has just launched a new website that markets and sells products for farmers for a very low cost, he tells me it’s the way of the future but I was more interested in the character that features on the website. Go to www.ausfarmonline.com.au and check out who it resembles! Also he asked me to tell you to register whilst you are there.
End of message
Another week is upon us and what an interesting week it has been. I managed to get back “home” last weekend and caught up with some of the districts characters and more importantly some of the stories. Here we go.
Party pooper
I have to say that my heart hadn’t beat like that since Brett Lee and Kaspa nearly made those runs in England 3 years ago. I’m talking about the Brownlow when my old mate Richo nearly stole the show. With all due respects to the winner I recon the joint would have erupted if Richo snatched the 3 votes on the last game of the year (and for the record I thought he was in the votes, but I’m bias). It’s funny, he has gone from the most maligned players to one of the most popular and boy those umpies didn’t know the script had been written, all they had to do was finish it.
No till in the till
Eddie everywhere Rueben “Rostron” Cheesman was at another No till junket with his partners in crime, Brain “Farmer” Healy and Stewart “Farmer want a wife” MacPherson. Cheesman has coined the phrase “no till in the till”, it must be in the genes as old man Arthur is good for a statement or two.
Winebar on fire
Marnoo West celebrity Nigel “Winebar” Slee had an “it can only happen to me” moment in the Grampians a couple of weekends ago. You see the responsible drinker thought he would take himself off to bed and thought in order to stay warm he would sleep close to the fire. Well he was amazed to wake and see his swag alight and had to move faster that a Richo lead to avoid being burnt. The official report says he sustained “burns to .3% of his body” or part of his little toe!
The latest
Apparently some enterprising native has sent Smacka’s application form in for “farmer wants a wife” and guess what the authorities have been in touch. Could it be that we are all glued to our 50 months interest free widescreen early next year watching one of our very own? Could this be how it goes when the two girls arrive at Glenorchy. “Hello girls welcome to Glenorchy, thirsty are we girls, well I just thought for the first night we might go to Blue Can’s”. Anyway if it all comes off we will have some fun because I know one thing’s for sure “Smacka” will play his part like no other.
Yes it went in the “Corepark” Tony
First time golfer and Traynors Lagoon celebrity John “Landmark” Mathews had the gallery ducking for cover last Sunday when his first drive hit the barrier and ended up back in the Royal car park (or as Tony Grieg says “Corepark”). I’m told though that he redeemed himself quickly and is now considering a career once the boys have finished junior footy.
Rudd a dud according to most
This little column doesn’t get very political but I thought I would chuck this one in. I get around a bit and being an investigative journalist I keep my ear to the ground, I am hearing more and more that the average punter thinks our Prime Minister is all talk and no action. Could he be the worst PM since John “Jack” Cameron’s mate Paul “Clocks” Keating took office? I’ll leave that one for you to decide – at the next election.
Check out this site
My Yarra mate Dwain “Daryl” Duxson has just launched a new website that markets and sells products for farmers for a very low cost, he tells me it’s the way of the future but I was more interested in the character that features on the website. Go to www.ausfarmonline.com.au and check out who it resembles! Also he asked me to tell you to register whilst you are there.
End of message
Monday, September 15, 2008
Welcome again
Another week just passes us by and it seems like only yesterday that I wrote last week’s column. I have made a decision I’m going to be like Fawlty when he said to Manual “Don’t mention the war”, well I am not going to talk about the weather, “Don’t mention the weather” will be my slogan.
Bulldogs have bark
I can hear him and he is not within 300km of me, yes I’m talking about former fruit shop proprietor John “Fruity” Nisbet who is back in full voice after declaring last week the start of the new cricket season. Could they cause an upset and go straight into the grand final? Funnier things have happened.
Minyip Meats Corporate Cup
The Minyip Meats cooperate cup is nearly upon us and the powers to be are calling for deposits for this year’s event. This struggling part time reporter who was born and bred in the Kanya hills (like the late great RE Hendy) has entered a team. I’ve had to extent myself and with the credit crunch it hasn’t been easy but I’m just that excited about the event. Look forward to seeing you all there and make sure you bombard me with funny tales.
Age old tradition
I see on the Minyip Meats logo where they have been operating since 1897. Now that’s a long time in anyone’s language. I’m sure John “Hoye” Drum and his brood will keep the joint open for another 100 years.
Cricket season is not far away
I’m told the MCC had their AGM on Sunday and are looking to kick off season 2008/2009 with a bang. Marnoo will again be looking to its youngsters to keep on improving and take them to a finals berth.
AR Loats
I was on Facebook the other day chatting with Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet and he was barking about the Dogs after their victory. The mode of the conversation changed and we got onto Ross Loats stories, now for those who don’t know AR Loats, he is a middle aged (late 50’s I’m guessing) bachelor man who lives at Laen with his mother, breeds prized cocks, mows lawns for a living and still plays cricket in Donald. Now you have to know him to understand what I am on about. Here is a story: Whilst at Bendigo Country week Dwain “Daryl” Duxson used to turn his electric blanket on 3 in the middle of the night and Loats would wake up and say “you little prick Duxson, have some bloody brains you little chump”. Now Bendigo is a hot place in January and Loats didn’t appreciate sweating during the day as well as the night time. This tradition was handed down to Hayden “Howard” McLennan and then onto “Upstart” Nisbet, I’m not sure who does it now or if Loats still goes to country week.
Other Loats stories
I was going to tell some other AR Loats stories but they are really you-had-to-be-there stories. I’m sure some of the cricketers would be giggling away because the Marnoo boys gave him buggery. Oh yes for the record – he isn’t dead yet.
Freddie and Fannie
Only in America would they call a leading lending institution Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae. We could go one better by changing the name of the ANZ to Stewie Mac and the Commonwealth to Barbra May, what about this one, Rabobank to Danny Dougo!!!
It’s time to go, end of message
Another week just passes us by and it seems like only yesterday that I wrote last week’s column. I have made a decision I’m going to be like Fawlty when he said to Manual “Don’t mention the war”, well I am not going to talk about the weather, “Don’t mention the weather” will be my slogan.
Bulldogs have bark
I can hear him and he is not within 300km of me, yes I’m talking about former fruit shop proprietor John “Fruity” Nisbet who is back in full voice after declaring last week the start of the new cricket season. Could they cause an upset and go straight into the grand final? Funnier things have happened.
Minyip Meats Corporate Cup
The Minyip Meats cooperate cup is nearly upon us and the powers to be are calling for deposits for this year’s event. This struggling part time reporter who was born and bred in the Kanya hills (like the late great RE Hendy) has entered a team. I’ve had to extent myself and with the credit crunch it hasn’t been easy but I’m just that excited about the event. Look forward to seeing you all there and make sure you bombard me with funny tales.
Age old tradition
I see on the Minyip Meats logo where they have been operating since 1897. Now that’s a long time in anyone’s language. I’m sure John “Hoye” Drum and his brood will keep the joint open for another 100 years.
Cricket season is not far away
I’m told the MCC had their AGM on Sunday and are looking to kick off season 2008/2009 with a bang. Marnoo will again be looking to its youngsters to keep on improving and take them to a finals berth.
AR Loats
I was on Facebook the other day chatting with Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet and he was barking about the Dogs after their victory. The mode of the conversation changed and we got onto Ross Loats stories, now for those who don’t know AR Loats, he is a middle aged (late 50’s I’m guessing) bachelor man who lives at Laen with his mother, breeds prized cocks, mows lawns for a living and still plays cricket in Donald. Now you have to know him to understand what I am on about. Here is a story: Whilst at Bendigo Country week Dwain “Daryl” Duxson used to turn his electric blanket on 3 in the middle of the night and Loats would wake up and say “you little prick Duxson, have some bloody brains you little chump”. Now Bendigo is a hot place in January and Loats didn’t appreciate sweating during the day as well as the night time. This tradition was handed down to Hayden “Howard” McLennan and then onto “Upstart” Nisbet, I’m not sure who does it now or if Loats still goes to country week.
Other Loats stories
I was going to tell some other AR Loats stories but they are really you-had-to-be-there stories. I’m sure some of the cricketers would be giggling away because the Marnoo boys gave him buggery. Oh yes for the record – he isn’t dead yet.
Freddie and Fannie
Only in America would they call a leading lending institution Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae. We could go one better by changing the name of the ANZ to Stewie Mac and the Commonwealth to Barbra May, what about this one, Rabobank to Danny Dougo!!!
It’s time to go, end of message
Monday, September 8, 2008
Welcome again
It’s time again, so welcome to this week’s edition of the SLF. The footy finals are here and spring is in the air, some top up rain would be nice as it doesn’t take long to dry out these days.
Bulldogs lack bark
Speaking of footy, my old mate and committed Bulldogs supporter John “Fruity” Nisbet went and watched his beloveds on Friday night and walked away saying it was officially now cricket season.
Lucky he’s alive
I know enough about the Stawell footy club to say that if my old mate Tony “The Beckster” Beck was in his grave he would be rolling around like a big croc with Jen Hawkins as lunch after Stawell’s dismal performance on the weekend. I was only told this but apparently they should have beaten Horsham the week before and now they are out of the race. That’s the way it goes but I suggest it wouldn’t have happened in The Beckster’s day.
Back in uniform
Whilst number one son Rueben “Rostron” Cheesman steals the limelight, old man Arthur has been in recovery mode after they diverted a few inner body channels. Apparently now he is back and ready to resume where he left off.
Eddie everywhere
Apparently Rueben was in top form at the No Till conference near Horsham last week after his new found fame of appearing in every rural newspaper that the country. I’m told though and on good authority that when the reporter came to interview the influential Rostron grain grower he had had a huge night the night before and wasn’t very well. That’s why the story didn’t make any sense!!!!!
Kangaroo’s bad
These No Till conferences can take alot of time out of the week, another such get together resulted in Stewart “Smacka” MacPherson, Rueben and Armand “Herbie” Duxson attending a day in Hamilton. Well you can guess how that turned out, yes it was a very slow trip home, amplified by the Kangaroos jumping across the road on the Halls Gap/Dunkeld Rd. I’m told driver MacPherson nearly wore out a set of brake pads stopping for all the Kangaroos and for every third Kangaroo stop they had at least one other stop for young Rueben who was crook. Must have been something he ate!!!
On Auto steer
Auto steer is common now in this part of the world (Up Yarra way) and is getting more popular in the Marnoo district. So much so that it has been attached to Herbies ute. Apparently he can drive to Bendigo without touching the steering wheel and opening his eyes!!!
Councillor Larry
Leading district organiser and current Mayor Gary “Councillor Larry” Cameron has been very quiet this week. Now I haven’t been pestering him but his threat of several huge stories hasn’t eventuated. I guess that’s politics.
Wery wery good Mr MacPerson
John “Jack” Cameron’s mate N. O. Mule Sing the Indian tele marketer and part time non mulesing activist has been trying to woo Glenorchy legend Smacka to change phone companies. Apparently Mr Sing said to Smacka “Mr MacPerson you are paying way too much for your current phone services”, Smacka said “Nu mate I’m pretty happy, I don’t mind paying a little extra and I can’t be bothered with the paperwork”. Sing “But Mr MacPerson we can help you”, Smacka “I’ll tell yu what mate if it doesn’t rain by October give me a call and I will do business”, Sing “What are you talking about Mr MacPerson, I do not understand”, Smacka, “Mate you have internet on in India, just keep and eye on the Victorian radar and if you see there has been no rain in Glenorchy, then give me a call”. Clunk
End of message
It’s time again, so welcome to this week’s edition of the SLF. The footy finals are here and spring is in the air, some top up rain would be nice as it doesn’t take long to dry out these days.
Bulldogs lack bark
Speaking of footy, my old mate and committed Bulldogs supporter John “Fruity” Nisbet went and watched his beloveds on Friday night and walked away saying it was officially now cricket season.
Lucky he’s alive
I know enough about the Stawell footy club to say that if my old mate Tony “The Beckster” Beck was in his grave he would be rolling around like a big croc with Jen Hawkins as lunch after Stawell’s dismal performance on the weekend. I was only told this but apparently they should have beaten Horsham the week before and now they are out of the race. That’s the way it goes but I suggest it wouldn’t have happened in The Beckster’s day.
Back in uniform
Whilst number one son Rueben “Rostron” Cheesman steals the limelight, old man Arthur has been in recovery mode after they diverted a few inner body channels. Apparently now he is back and ready to resume where he left off.
Eddie everywhere
Apparently Rueben was in top form at the No Till conference near Horsham last week after his new found fame of appearing in every rural newspaper that the country. I’m told though and on good authority that when the reporter came to interview the influential Rostron grain grower he had had a huge night the night before and wasn’t very well. That’s why the story didn’t make any sense!!!!!
Kangaroo’s bad
These No Till conferences can take alot of time out of the week, another such get together resulted in Stewart “Smacka” MacPherson, Rueben and Armand “Herbie” Duxson attending a day in Hamilton. Well you can guess how that turned out, yes it was a very slow trip home, amplified by the Kangaroos jumping across the road on the Halls Gap/Dunkeld Rd. I’m told driver MacPherson nearly wore out a set of brake pads stopping for all the Kangaroos and for every third Kangaroo stop they had at least one other stop for young Rueben who was crook. Must have been something he ate!!!
On Auto steer
Auto steer is common now in this part of the world (Up Yarra way) and is getting more popular in the Marnoo district. So much so that it has been attached to Herbies ute. Apparently he can drive to Bendigo without touching the steering wheel and opening his eyes!!!
Councillor Larry
Leading district organiser and current Mayor Gary “Councillor Larry” Cameron has been very quiet this week. Now I haven’t been pestering him but his threat of several huge stories hasn’t eventuated. I guess that’s politics.
Wery wery good Mr MacPerson
John “Jack” Cameron’s mate N. O. Mule Sing the Indian tele marketer and part time non mulesing activist has been trying to woo Glenorchy legend Smacka to change phone companies. Apparently Mr Sing said to Smacka “Mr MacPerson you are paying way too much for your current phone services”, Smacka said “Nu mate I’m pretty happy, I don’t mind paying a little extra and I can’t be bothered with the paperwork”. Sing “But Mr MacPerson we can help you”, Smacka “I’ll tell yu what mate if it doesn’t rain by October give me a call and I will do business”, Sing “What are you talking about Mr MacPerson, I do not understand”, Smacka, “Mate you have internet on in India, just keep and eye on the Victorian radar and if you see there has been no rain in Glenorchy, then give me a call”. Clunk
End of message
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