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Another week
It’s been a hectic couple of weeks for this struggling little reporter having being diverted away from my main role in life – writing this column. So I do apologise for missing last week, I know its slack as it only takes about an hour to write and if you can’t find an hour a week there is something dramatically wrong. Anyway back into it........

Big show
I had the privilege of attending Paula Duxson’s 40th birthday on Saturday night and boy was that an event to be seen at. A few natives made the journey in what was an unforgettable night (unless you drank too much). Undoubtedly the highlight of the night was the pole dancing (moment of madness) episode by Pistols Tavern proprietor Glen “Wally” Brear. A study of the actual pole on Sunday made the gig even more impressive because Wally isn’t what you would call “small” and the supports would have been stretched. I might even be able to print photos next week.

In the rush to the bar
Cock sparrow Andrew “Upstart” Nisbet made a wrong decision the other day in his “usual” rush to the bar. He was attending his Grandmother’s funeral in Yarram when he decided to disperse of his newly acquired suit jacket. So on his way to the bar piffed the jacket through the window of John and Joys blue Magna. That was fine, the night went to plan but when young Nisbet got up in the morning and asked Joy before they left could she get his jacket out of the back seat of the car. Joy said “but Andrew we didn’t take our car to the funeral”. Oh f@#*who’s car did I throw my new jacket in. Soon Fruity arrives back from the golf club, Upstart relayed the story and Fruity said he spotted a Magna like theirs out at the golf club. So Young Nisbet jumped in his car and went out for a look and sure enough here was the blue Magna still with its windows down and yes the jacket was present. End of message

Cricketers off to a slow start
The MCC boys are off to a bit of a slow start having lost the first two games but hopefully a turnaround is not too far away. Ably led by Gary “Councillor Larry” Cameron and his combination of age and youth, I’m sure they will get going soon.

Guru’s arrives home
Local Gurus, Norm “Guru” Duxson and his lovely wife “Guru Margie” arrived back in the country from their sojourn to Africa. I am looking forward to a rundown on how the trip went. Local funny man Stewart “Smacka” MacPherson is adamant Guru was heading to his native country and would be swinging from the trees with his cousins.

Did they swill on the hill?
I’m not sure how the swill-on-the-hill went as my spies have been a bit slack lately. I only want to know if anyone swilled once too often!!

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